Houston Chronicles

AND SO.. finally i was flying abroad.. apna US of A. Where lots of desis go and forget their own desiness. Where they prefer to talk in american accented english than in desi lingo with a desi.
And besides that, the project I was working on was in dire straits. A couple of guys had gone onsite before me (from my team), in relatively calm weather. But I was going to step into a torrent. Expectations were high, so was the pressure.. and I had to PERFORM (my job performance takes a heavy toll on me.. thats one of the reasons I dont have a gf.. I cant perform for her). And so I was a Mumbai airport at 10 pm for my 1:15 am flight to Houston via London Heathrow.

Mumbai airport smells weird.. like those railway stations.. I guess no amount of air conditioning can take it way, esp when you are boarding and alighting flights, the smell is pungent. Its kinda similar to they way a gym dojo smells after the persians have finished with their martial arts workout.. It smells of camels.. My friend said they eat camels.. hence the reason. So do we eat shit? .. god knows.. but it sure smelt that way.

Everything went of smoothly.. my bags were under 32kg restrictions of BA, and I was soon in a plane for a long 9 hour flight. B4 this I had only flown a no frills (or thrills) flight from pune to delhi with SpiceJet, so all the buttons and menus on your seat armrest were disabled. Here it lit up a brilliant panel of colors, and I was quickly wondering what each one would do. Curious prick that I am, I soon started pressing all those buttons with glee.. some of them I understood for volume etc.. but a couple of them were pretty obscure. I pressed that button and nothing happened for a few moments. Then there was a sudden sound of rushing footsteps and lo behold, there was an airhostess besides me.. not exactly beside me.. since I was stupid enough to book a window seat instead of an aisle. God knows what I had in mind when I booked a window seat. Maybe i thot I would see birds flying beside me and I would wave at them to have them winking back a tme. Or maybe I thot i would see lush green trees and clear blue ocean. All I got was lightning and thunder whipping the sorry ass of my plane. Back to the airhostess. I would say I was embarrased and stupefied at the same time. Embarassed coz I dint want anything and I had called her, and stupefied coz the button resembled nothing to a cute airhostess standing beside u. It resembled more to a person waiting outside the toilet. Not that she was hot (as they show in kingfisher ads), and I quickly mumbled that I would like to have some water.

I always have bad luck in terms of co-passengers sitting beside me. I always get someone
from a wide variety of old coots with rickety throats, to some vagabond looking brits sporting a Manchester United T shirts and a couple of bruises/cuts/holes on their knees and legs.
This time it was some 40ish female who seemed to have lost faith in the world. She had the suspicious kind of look and the smallest shuffle of mine was met with a red-eyed glare. I look kinda cute.. tho my front teeth have some cavities, so I guess she forgave me based on those. Every hour she would get some kicks and would disturb the aisle passenger and walk up to the airhostess chamber to fetch a glass a water (like jill.. I wish they had kept a pail of it at her feet).
And every other half an hour she would press the airhostess button to ask for something. I would bet my ass (which is also cute) that she wud be calling those call center ppl (Airtel.. ICICI) and talking with those gals for hours when she is bored. No kiddin.. I seen ppl do that!

So came the trolley for drinks.. I was apprehensive since this was my first flight. Man they had a nice array of drinks. Right from cranberry juice to Heineken beers! Still I was cautious.. Its better to be when u dont have experience regarding it. Who knows if they charged for some drinks.. or u had to give tips. I opted for coffee.. since thats what most ppl seemed to be having (for free.. more importantly). It was a terrible mistake. Water (like miss Jill) would have served me far better. It was utterly black, and tasted even bitter. All the milk and sugar packets they supplied (which were 2) couldn't make the bitter taste better. That gave me a short glimpse of what I was to expect in Houston in terms of coffee. So i SIPPED half the coffee, and soon there was an ASIAN VEGETARIAN breakfast infront of me.. I mean atleast the packing looked neat.
So I had it open on the tray and munching on it. It was quite good for a breakfast. Not a bad start for a 9hr flight. Soon we had some announcements regarding High Life entertainment and some custom free stuff that they wud sell on-flight. All the time the airhostess sounded as if her nose was choked due to some bad sinus attack, and that she had a clamp on her nose.

It was wee hours in the morning, and I was feeling sleepy. I woke up after like 3 hours when a petite airhostess got me my Asian Veggie meal. Darn.. the tray was hot! I nearly dropped it.
Soon I had it open. There are weird concepts amongst foreigners. Fish and eggs are considered vegetarian. So a veggie meal onboard means it has fish and eggs. Hence mine was ASIAN VEGETARIAN without sounding racist. Which brings me to quality of food. It tasted worse than I could possibly imagine. I could even figure out which vegetable they had used to make it. I jammed half of it down my throat (not that I was hungry).. and again lapsed into my sleep. I must have slept for another 3-4 hours, coz when I woke up we were nearly at heathrow.
I had to board an in-transit bus at heathrow to get to gatwick airport, to take the connecting flight to houston. Soon there was an announcement about the landing forms to be filled, for in-transit as well as immigrating passengers.

AGAIN CONFUSION. before I could react there were a couple of forms dropped in my lap, and everyone seemed to be filling out both, so I did the same. When I got to the customs counter where I told them I was in transit, the fatso female with soda glasses asked me..
Her: If your going through London, you need a valid UK visa!
Me: But I am not going to stay in London. Its only in-transite, and that too
because British Airways requires me to travek from Heathrow to Gatwick.
Her: Thats fine, but once you are out of here, you are setting foot in london, which
means you are going to need a valid UK visa apart from youo US visa.
Me: I am sorry.. but I have no idea of this.
Her: You like a smart young man to me, but obviously you have not made the correct enquiries!
Me: (Speechless)
Her: Walks to some room which looks like customs office and comes out in a couple of minutes huffing n puffing...
Her: Well, this seems to be you lucky day, since you have been granted a temporary 24 hour visa!
Me: A sigh of relief and Thank you! Appreciate it a lot!

Actually, it was a mess, and we both were at fault as I learned later, but more on it afterwards.
I will continue my narration the next post!

I have the Visa Power!

And I m back.. lazy bum.. arent I? Glad we agree! :D
I mean really, a lot has been happening in my life, but I still prefer watching movies and playing games as opposed to penning down the thoughts I have.
So 8 months back, when I got the news every n00b in IT field wants to hear, (I am going onsite!) I was ecstatic. Hell, I was not even able to get a visa date at the beginning. It was August, the time when all MS students want to join their universities. 1 month down the line and still no luck with the dates. Then some page sprung up in my google search giving some valuable tips regarding visa dates. It mentioned that if u r going by indian time, u might as well try for dates after midnight or before 9 am in the morning. It worked!
Onto the next step.. the dreaded Visa Interview.. a couple of my friends even made a point to visit Birla temple.. they say ppl who visit it clear their visa interviews for sure. No such luxury for me. I was here, wither working my ass off in the office, or sweating it out in the gym. So Sept 20th was the day, when I took at taxi to US consulate in Mumbai, and waited in that line at 7:30 am in the morning to enter the consulate.
There was this gal (about my age) wearing specs, and a CURT uniform like dress (light blue shirt and black skirt.. old school style), with a "DONT FUCK WITH ME" kinda thing stamped on her forehead. Well, my intuition wasnt wrong. She was a pain. Besides it was my first shot at visa.. and poor me was fumbling to get 4-5 things out in a flash. Appointment letter, HDFC pink slip, blah blah... I was back in school days where the teacher would spank you if the correct book was not upon your desk with the correct page opened. I wanted to ask her if she was getting periods or something.. to make her this miserable.. U know what mad cow disease can do.. but i refrained. After all I had come to give an interview.. but surely the consulate should think of appointing some airhostess like cutiepie who can put ppl at ease.
Moving on, I was in! Metal detectors did not blare. I submitted my passport and blah blah things in a green SHREK like envelope.. and they parcelled it off somewhere. And i huddled myself in some chair. Soon announcements started. I dont understand why the hell those interviewers cant pronounce those numbers correctly. They sound as if they are gobbling some breakfast, when they were hoisted on their feet and made to stand infront of the interview window. No wonder those poor souls are cranky even before the interview begins. To top it, there were a couple of kids running amok. Their moms seemed relaxed.. (soccer moms i guess).. I reckon they were confident that the cute faces of their kids and their demure smiles wud win the heart of any visa interviewer, and grant them visas. But wat about the rest of us who couldn't even hear those numbers being called.. (by breakfast choked announcers)? I guess the relation between whining kids/wailing babies on important occasions is similar to that of mud being splattered on u when u r well dressed in rains. Never mind!
So i heard my number.. yup I DID! and bang I was first in the line. Thru the glass window in the wooden door, i cud see a cute american lady. She atleast smiled during the pleasantries.. (I guess the specxy gal ooutside the consulate could take a lesson or 2 from here.. maybe she wanted to be an interviewer and was rejected coz she was a meanie). She asked a couple of irrelevant questions.. then a couple of relevant ones.. and gave the answer I had been waiting for.. (U have been granted the visa).. muahhhhh.. I like cutiepies!
So all set for the houston trip, I was going to fly with British Airways, via London to Houston.
For the details of the trip and the airports and everything.. I will be right back!

Eternal Thefts of Endurance

A long time since I wrote nething.. but wid my busy hectic schedule, its kinda leisure to write something on ze blog.. heh! Life was going as fantastic as always, and on 18th, a friend of mine from the gym (Endurance Fitness Club, E-Square) called me up, and told me to come to aqua aerobics classes conducted on 7th floor. I was kinda reluctant, since I was pretty tired, but being positive as always, decided to push myselves, and agreed to meet him at the rendezvous at 7pm.
The lockers on the 7th floor (swimming pool) and smaller and cramped than the ones on the 6th floor (the gym lockers), and to top that, since most were occupied, me and my friend dumped all our stuff into one locker. My friend put a small lock on that locker, and I warned him, that such kinda locks are easily pickable these days, and since mine was a combination lock, it might suit better. So he just asked me vaguely.. "So u wanna put on ur lock?" .. I didnt answer that time, and we went to aqua classes.
Aqua classes were great, I was doing this stuff for the first time, aerobics in water, and we all had a whale of time. I was one of the last 5-6 people to get out of the pool, and since it was around 9 pm, it was also closing time for the swimming pool. I went in, and was having a shower, when that friend of mine shouted from the other shower, "Hey, did you put ur combination lock on the locker?" .. I said.. "No!". He exclaimed,"Man .. are u crazy?.. I have 10k cash in my wallet man!" .. and I was like.. oh jeez, I hope this is not one of the most frequently occuring thefts at Endurance. Thankfully, everything was in its place, and we breathed a sigh of relief.
He seemed to finish his shower before me, and so he changed, took his stuff, and while leaving he told me that he would be waiting outside, and I should join him quickly. So I changed, and in the hurry, absentminded as I am, I forgot to take my stuff from the locker. I went to the 6th floor first, had some chat with gym buddies, and then went to ground floor with my friend and decided to grab a bite. That was when I felt that my pockets were empty, and I sickeningly realised that I had forgotten to take my stuff!
I rushed to the 7 th floor immediately, and when I reached the lockers, there was this cleaner, who was cleaning out all lockers. And guess what?.. Yeah, U guessed right, ALL MY STUFF GONE! For 5 seconds, I was like,.. OH GOD! My expensive cellfone (O2 Xphone 2), My wallet with credit and debit cards, my belt (BELT!!!.. so cheap mentality) .. everything was gone.
Only my Driving License was left behind.. ROFL. It must be becuase, whoever was stealing, must have found it difficult to scoop up the flat paper like license with the other handful things.
I had strong suspicions on the cleaner, even though there were 2 other guys in the shower when I left earlier. But u know wat, it still took for 3 hours to block my Credit + Debit card, and in that time, not a single penny was withdrawn! Later a friend told me, its a similar pattern in all cases, the ready cash from the wallets is taken, and the credit and debit cards are dumped in any trashcan at E-Square!
So its evident, that this is the work of people, who are not good enuf to swipe cards at malls, and empty the credit limit, or that they dont have time to do so. Endurance managaement tells me, "Even the students can take it, u never know!".. But tell me, if it were the students, wouldnt they just go and swipe my card somewhere? What proof will they leave behind?.. Only the name of the place where they swiped, and even with cameras mounted over the cash counter, it still required Police intervention to nab the thief, and we all know how vigilent our Police department is! :) But still the cards are never swiped, which makes me suspect the cleaners even more! But u cannot point a dirty finger at anybody without proof!
I had my IMEI no. of my cellfone stored with me, so I lodged an FIR with Chaturshringi police, and posted a complaint with all major service providers (Idea, Airtel, Hutch and BSNL), so that if the phone was in local circle, and that guy put in a SIM card of any of the service providers above, the phone could be traced. Lets see what happens! .. I have not given up hope, but practicality tells me to forget my dear cell.. I am gonna miss him!
As for the insurance.. well, we all know what a hassle it is! Local vendors seldom fill out the insurance documents while selling the cellfones (Its our responsibility too.. I failed at that), and besides, 6 months before, seeing the rate of cellfone thefts climb sky high, the police removed all the insurance covers for cellfones. So now, none of the cellfones are insured! So convenient for these thiefs!
The most staggering thing though, is the lack of any reaction from Endurance Fitness Club Management. A cellphone is stolen every second day, wallets are emptied, and still no action! It has become like a second business in the Fitness Club, and when a complaint is made, they just tell you.. "We have put signboards at all places to take care of your valuables and lock them!".. but then is that supposed to mean that "Anytime you forget to lock ur valuables, they are going to be stolen!".. LOL. At max, they say .. "Yeah, we will definitely do something about it.." .. Dont know whom to trust, and whom not to trust.. seeing such laid back attitude. After charging 18000 rupees an year for regular memebership, and with thefts occuring at such staggering rate, and with staggering ease, it leaves you just helpless! Maybe I will write in editorials of major newspapers too, lets c what happens, my fingers are crossed!

But one thing is for sure, those who want to join ENDURANCE FITNESS CLUB, might as well think twice before they do so! :) .. Rule of the thumb, No valuables with you please, only clothes to change, a lock, and a pair of gym shoes.. thats it!

Tranceport

A lot of people ask me.. Why Tranceporter?.. y not Transporter, if u made ur nick from that movie? Well. both the Transporter movies are awesome, no doubt abt it. I mean, Jason Statham just rox! His accent, his attitude.. I just think of him saying... "Weight?" .. "About a Kilo".. "Destination?" .."A noble, by the name of".. a raised hand,.. "Oh! I forgot, Rule 2: No names!".. lol.

My nick is actually made up of 2 parts, the movie Transporter, and Tranceport, an amazing song by the great trance legend, Paul Oakenfold, the GOD of the DJ's. I mean, even my blog url also came from that "tranced-out" feeling. Trance music is really what it is, a voyage of mind.

I am not much into rock music, tho some Metallica,Linking Park,Evanescence,Hoobastank and System of a Down stuff is OK. I especially love Turn the Page by Metallica, awesome! But techno/trance is something really different!

Try ATB sometimes, all you die-hard rock fans! Andre Tanneberger from Bonn. His "No Silence" album is stunning! 11 years in music Production, 5 successful albums, one of the greatest DJ Producers in the world :)

Trance music comes in different styles. Currently hit style is Progressive trance, a mix of fast pacy beats, followed by still silence. Real trance music though, has its roots in Israel. The Israel government believes that, trance music is the main cause of increase in doping and drug addictions in the country. A dose of drug, followed by fast pacy beats of trance music, really hypnotise u a lot. Try to see people dancing in clubs to trance music, esp, in osho commune.
Its totally different, they move like robots, lol. Or even in movie Blade-II, when Wesley Snipes enters the club with the vampire team.

So, the Isreali people never really know, when there might be a police raid on the club/disc, where the trance music is on. This developed a unique style of trance music, called "Nizchonot".
It is packed with such fast beats, that you are forced to dance with frenzy. This style suits the Isrealis, because they want to spend their energy quickly, in minimum amount of time, to dance to trance. So that even if a raid ahppens, they can quickly bail out, with a feeling that they really enjoyed their dance, even in small time! One of the biggest proponent of the Nizchonot style, is the trance group "Astral Projection".

My fav trance artists include ATB, Paul Oakenfold, Paul Van Dyk, Armin Van Buuren, Ferry Corsten, 4 Strings, DJ Astroline Lasgo, Ian Van Dahl, and some songs of DJ Tiesto.

Thats abt it! Do tell me more "personal views" about trance/techno music, and not the info on google.com..lol. And yes, I dont like Infected Mushroom, Dagda, Goa Gill and other pussycat trance artists!

Female Thinking Diagnosed (Dating View Point)!

2005 can be attributed for a lot of "firsts" in my case! First job, then sudden change of that "First" job, First Cellfone (my gr8 O2 Xphone2), First Blog, First love, First proposal, then immediate disposal (pehchaan kaun?), and yeah, last but not the least, my best ID created uptil now, my First profile on Orkut, Lord Of The Flings!

Now dont ask me from where I got this weird idea. But flirting with the bitter half of humanity has been always a worthwhile endeavour. Especially to watch those fems get confused and look at you with saucy eyed wonder, is some sight. I mean, its tiring to be Mama's boy all the time.

Just consider this: A guy goes to a club, orders a drink. Looks around, and sees around half a dozen babes standing alone. Finds them interesting, especially, the one in the corner, a uberbabe(rating 9+ on scale of 10), and wants her. Now the fun begins!

Most of us guys will want to buy her a drink, woo her, tell her she is so beautiful, comment how pretty she looks in that dress, in short, give her control over him. And THIS is where the guys lose! I mean, see it from her viewpoint. She KNOWS she is good looking. She LOVES to get attention. And most important she YEARNS for someone who is challenging for her. Dont agree? Think from a male perspective! After, you have, lets say, a one night stand with this female (dream about it!), will you really be that much interested in her? Dont think so. She has to offer you some sort of challenge, to make you want her more. Same goes with females! Every female has dreams about her "PRINCE CHARMING", who is an ideal person. Once, you act NICE with a gal, she starts to compare you with that prince charming in her mind, and starts acting "hard to get". She just turns on the heat, and makes you run behind her more. You dont realise, that it is usually impossible to be her prince charming, since he is ideal; so unless you are a viking god, you are compromised. NEXT!

The best way, in my opinion, is to make her run behind you! and why not? I mean, r'nt u guys tired of running behind babes? or do u seriously think, that only guys want gals, and that gals really dont care if they get guys or not? We belong to the new generation, not the old! So next time u like a babe in a club, just walk up to her like u own da club, and comment on ANYTHING but her looks. I mean, use ur brains! What is the logic in telling her the obvious? There must be 100 other losers, who are going to take care of telling her how gr8 she luks! See her nails, her hair (wearing a wig?), her posture, tease her about how she doesnt have the guts to speak to a dude like you by herself! and how dudes do babes a favor by always initiating a convo, coz they got guts.. anything besides the obvious! The best way is to be natural! Like, if there is some group of guys (losers), whistling, hooting, after seeing u with that gal, just say something different like "Sorry guys!, I am booked!", or something like "Wow, these days even guys are trying to attract my attention, reckon I am really famous!". This shows her that u are confident, not easily distracted, that u r very comfortable with ur skin, and also ur attitude! (This is attitude, not those rings of smokes that most guys try to spiral out of their asshole!)

There are some problems tho! Especially for those guys (like me!) who dont visit discs/pubs usually, there is gonna be a dearth of females, who are approachable. The best place I like, is malls. Cuz the people there, HAVE to be nice to u, unless u really act like an asshole. U can always flirt with gals there, tease them on how they handle the customers, say something original, like.. "It must be really a difficult thing handling all the customers.. How do u manage?", U will be surprised with the amount of things that girl will say, she will just open up. Most guys never get this! I hope you get it now. And yes, I dont have a gf. This is for those who have time to "maintain" one!.. lol.

Lot more to explain, but this can do as an appetizer! Comments please, even bad ones, I dont mind. Especially those from females, cuz even I am not a fling master, I am on the learning curve!